Providing care for someone with Alzheimer’s is physically, emotionally, and mentally challenging, and it’s easy to overlook how your new role as a caregiver may affect you. These strategies can help you stay a step ahead of stress.

Good Self-Care

If self-care sounds like an impossible feat as you’re caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, then you’re probably putting your own needs too far down on your priority list. While it may seem counterintuitive, ignoring your own needs makes you less effective, not more. Neglecting self-care makes you more vulnerable to everything from viruses to depression and anxiety. Avoiding stress may not be possible, but proactively managing it can help you avoid burnout.  

Nicholas McGowan, BSN, RN, CCRN, who has over a decade of experience in neurological trauma, notes the importance of self-care. He states, “One of the first things you want to do when caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s is to support yourself. Caregiving is hard on the caregiver, and it can become easy to get frustrated, angry, regretful, and just plain burned out. Start by accepting their diagnosis and learning about it. Give yourself time to grieve and find support as you learn to accept this change in your loved one.”

Make time for yourself every day, whether it’s a 20-minute walk around the block, reading a few chapters of a book or enjoying a favorite hobby. Prioritize maintaining a healthy, varied diet and get enough sleep. Cultivate good sleep hygiene and ensure that your bedroom environment and daily routines support consistent, uninterrupted sleep.  

It’s also a good idea to let your doctor know about your new role as a caregiver. They may give you some pointers on managing stress and anxiety.  

The Ability to Ask for Help

Asking for help isn’t always easy, but the truth is, most people would be happy to share the load. Have a running list of every person who’s reached out, and jot down a few ways that they may be able to help. For example, a neighbor may be happy to drop in for 30 minutes once or twice per week to give you an opportunity to go for a walk. A friend may be willing to pick up groceries while they’re doing their own weekly shopping or provide transportation to a medical appointment.  

If someone can’t help you, they’ll let you know, but unless you ask, you won’t know what others can do to provide you some relief.  

Support from Family and Friends

The support of family and friends is invaluable throughout the duration of your role as a caregiver. If you’re caring for a parent, for example, siblings can help in practical ways, such as sharing care duties and financial burdens and helping make decisions. Friends and family members can also provide emotional support and reassurance by lending a hand or a listening ear.

Occasional disagreements among family members are inevitable, and the added stress of conflict can make caregiving feel even more challenging. In these instances, bringing in an objective third party, such as a geriatric care manager, to mediate can bring clarity.  

Community Resources

For many people, becoming the primary caregiver of someone with Alzheimer’s feels like joining a secret club. This new community can be a valuable resource for information, coping strategies and available services and supports. A study conducted in 2020 showed that accessing community support had a profound effect on family caregivers’ mental health and helped delay nursing home placement for those with dementia.  

Services such as community-based respite, adult day health services, and assistive devices typically fly under the radar for those who don’t have experience with Alzheimer’s. To find resources, O’Brien suggests creating a support network that can help you navigate issues as they arise. She states, “It will be helpful to work with your doctor to understand your loved one’s diagnosis and to learn about what to expect in the future. Build a support network for you and your family. Join a support group… Talking with others who understand what you are going through can be tremendously helpful. If you’re more comfortable researching on your own, the Alzheimer’s Association and the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America have comprehensive online information resources.”

Realistic Expectations

To keep resentment from building, it’s important to be realistic about your situation and your loved one’s prognosis and adjust your expectations accordingly. Recognize that family members who live far away may not be able to help with day-to-day care tasks, and younger family members may not understand changes in your loved one’s personality and may keep some distance.

It’s also important to be realistic about the progression of the disease. Your loved one may have good days where everything seems normal, followed by days with mood swings and difficult behaviors. While the challenging days are unavoidable, it’s helpful to keep predictable routines and figure out what kinds of food, activities and music appeal to your loved one.  

A Game Plan

As a caregiver, the demands placed on your time, energy and financial resources will grow as time goes on. Having a game plan in place that addresses new challenges as they arise can help you mentally and emotionally prepare for changes and help everyone understand what’s required of them, financially and otherwise.  

While you can’t prepare for every single possibility, you can research what’s likely to happen and what your options are. For each change in your loved one’s condition, consider:

• What level of care is necessary at this stage?
• Who will provide the care?
• Where will they live?

It’s important to discuss your game plan with family members and get the input of professionals, such as geriatric care managers and your loved one’s doctor. Having these difficult talks long before it’s necessary can help you feel confident about your decisions when it’s time to change where and how your loved one receives care.

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