Remote caregiver guilt is a common experience for those who are providing care from a distance. It can stem from feelings of not doing enough, not being physically present, or not being able to see changes in the person’s condition firsthand. Here are some tips to manage and mitigate these feelings:

1. Acknowledge Your Efforts: Recognize the care and support you are providing, even from a distance, and understand that you are doing what you can within your current circumstances.  Every phone call, arrangement, and piece of assistance counts.
2. Stay Informed: Seeking regular updates from family or professional caregivers can help you stay informed about your loved one’s condition and care needs, which will make it easier for you to coordinate and contribute effectively.
3. Use Technology: Leverage technology to stay connected. Video calls, online care management tools and digital monitoring systems can help you feel more involved in the day-to-day life and care of your loved one.
4. Set Realistic Expectations: Understand your limits and set realistic expectations for yourself. You can't do everything, especially from a distance. Focus on what you can do and recognize that it is valuable.
5. Delegate Tasks: Identify local resources or services that can provide support where you cannot. This might include home care services, meal delivery, or transportation assistance. Collaborate with local caregivers to share responsibilities.
6. Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is crucial. Remote caregiving can be emotionally and mentally draining, so make sure to set aside time for self-care activities that you enjoy and that help you recharge.
7. Seek Support: Join a support group for caregivers. Many groups offer virtual meetings, which can be an excellent way for remote caregivers to connect with others in similar situations. Sharing experiences and solutions can be incredibly supportive and informative.
8. Communicate Openly: Talk about your feelings of guilt with friends, family, or a professional counselor. Often, voicing these feelings can help diminish their power and provide you with new perspectives or solutions.
9. Plan Regular Visits: If possible, schedule regular visits to spend quality time with the person you are caring for. These visits can provide you with a clearer picture of their needs and condition, and quality time together.
10. Focus on Quality: Remember that the quality of your involvement is more important than the quantity. Making the most of the time you spend on care-related tasks or in communication with your loved one can have a significant positive impact.

Dealing with remote caregiver guilt requires acknowledging your feelings, recognizing the limitations of your situation, and understanding that you are doing your best within those constraints. Through planning, seeking support, and focusing on what you can contribute, you can manage these feelings and continue to be an effective caregiver, even from a distance.

At Mosaic Caregiving Solutions, we provide free, self-guided, online resources for caregivers of those with dementia. Our private Facebook community is a valuable support tool designed for remote situations where in person support groups may be challenging to attend.

‍